\\ Hyper Flesh Markup Language //
((Holy Fuck My Life!))
THE MAIL GAYS.
apparently glory holes are offensive to some of my (former) followers
the cloying stench of heteromasculinity
we went to palm springs and i saw an angel
BLINDED! <3
Rape culture.
I am in Banff. I am a white, cisgendered homosexual man. Tonight I was walking up a deserted path towards the place where I am staying. It is Australia Day here in town. While I was walking 3 women came across me. I said hello and asked if they were heading up to the Banff Centre where I was staying. They replied, yes. Looking forward to walking with an company, I tried to walk closer. The person who had replied to me, congregated her friends by calling them around her. They started to walk faster, running ahead of me. I started to try to keep up and then realized they wanted to put distance between us.
This action came as a shock. I screamed, “Wait! I’m on your side!” but I realized that this was futile. I want to apologize to these women. In my horror, you read me as a threat and I attempted to exert a prerogative that was impulsive, threatening, and misunderstood. I had a bunch of conversations with friends today about visibility and being acknowledged as different. At one point, my friend pointed out that she constituted 1 of 3 POCs at the table in a bar full of White Australians draped in flags. I was the lone faggot in the bar. This complicated our relationship to the men in Banff at the bar, who were predominately white, heterosexual and cis-gendered. Feeling unsafe and read as Other is really fucking terrifying. Rape culture produces a space in which we must feel this way towards each other.
I am scared walking up that hill. We’ve been warned against cougar attacks and freak snowstorms. I also experience the lingering (constant) threat of homophobic violence. I became enthused when I recognized other people who were heading up the hill with me. However, I want to acknowledge their fear as well and realize that their reaction towards me was a product of a culture that produces fear and apprehension about how we pass through public space. Let’s show solidarity next time and the 4 of us discuss our needs in getting from the town centre to our homes. Shit is difficult for us. I need to acknowledge how my presence can be a threat, just as much as I feel threatened by the presence of certain men. I’ve edited this post since I wrote it at 4am. Looking at the sentence about solidarity, I realize that at that moment solidarity was not an option: the power dynamics between me and the group of women were too charged. I need to conceive of how to react differently next time. Thinking on it…
Still photo of Joe covered in blue.
Joe blue himself and I missed it? Darn.
WELL COLOR ME JEALOUS!
